Fayre Well

There was a funeral today in the church, after which 50 people came to us for lunch. The family had requested many things we don't usually do including roast beef, prawn and smoked salmon sandwiches. I was, naturally, anxious. The family said we'd done them very well, which is what I was hoping for. We had compliments from guests too. One lady was effusive: "We've been to a lot of funerals recently," she said, "but this has been the best."
I wasn't quite sure how to respond.

Cast Off

A Knit 'n' Natter group came today for tea and cake. Mainly millionaire's shortbread. I told them they should be done under the trades description act. Not one of them had brought their knitting. I told them they reminded me of my book group.
This morning a very English older man and his wife came for coffee and cake. He was, rather incongrously, wearing a dark grey hooded sweatshirt emblazoned with SFPD.
"Are you in the San Francisco Police Department?" I asked. Really I was joking. I assumed he'd bought it on holiday. He looked shocked. He asked me how I knew that's what it stood for?
His wife said their son had lived in the States for years but had recently become a citizen and joined the San Francisco police: "It's his mid-life crisis, " she said rolling her eyes. "And this is mine" I said, gesturing around the tea room.

No ifs.

The Verminator arrived this morning to put an end (I hope) to the wasp nest. It's underground so no telling how big it is, but the horrible things go in and out at a rate of knots so I reckon it must have been there a while.
Twelve members of Little Hereford WI came today. They sat on one big table in the conservatory and gales of laughter swept into the kitchen. Had it not been for them we'd have had a quiet-ish day. Late afternoon brought folks out for cake in the garden although I had to ask two to extinguish ciggies. I hate doing it. I hate picking up their butts even more.

Clever as Clever.

Taking little kids out for lunch can be tricky. There's usually one who's a bit, well, fussy. But that's ok. I hated bananas as a child and I still don't eat cheese unless it's cooked so I'm on their side. Mostly.
One mum sidled up to the counter and whispered. Could we do a jam sandwich? No butter? White bread? "No problem, " I beamed,"For the little girl?"
"He's a boy" she said.
A 6 year old boy with VERY long hair.
When everyone else was ordering he (not having heard the jam sandwich thing) asked for beans on toast. With no butter.
He ate only the pieces of the toast which had been soaked by the beans.
His mum and granny came back to order cake, and talked about his eating habits. He loves bananas and, bizarrely, chilli. The latter since his brother put a little on his plate recently. Today Granny offered him a little of her salad as he ate. This 6 year old's answer?
"I'm not ready for lettuce yet."

Scream

Wasps are becoming a nuisance. They're driving some customers mad and indoors. I have alerted the proper authorities (Geoff) who says he'll sort them.
Nancie was driven mad, not by wasps, but by a couple who just couldn't make up their mind what to have from our (lovely but) limited menu. Eventually plumping for two soups ("but I won't have a roll", "oh go on, then I can eat yours as well") he then returned for ice cream. There are 5 flavours of ice cream from which to choose. You can imagine how long that took.

Bring It On

August arrived. And we were very busy.
I opened early, prompted by a call from a historic car club who wanted coffee at 1030. As they (15 of them) sat down in the garden a large group of older lycra-clad male cyclists arrived. Tea and cake for all of them. And could I get the drive straightened out cos the bumps hurt their bums? They'd come more often if the pot-holes weren't there.
Some very old friends I'd not seen for 20 years came for lunch and really got into planning what I should do with the place. They were proposing jazz quartets and twinkly lights and evening soirées. And weddings.
On Friday when I went from one table (a man planning the wake this Friday for his mother - 50 people) to a second (a young couple asking if they could hold their wedding reception here in September 2011) to a call from yet another group wanting to book for last night, the 'phone rang again. Nancie said not to answer it: "It'll be Obama," she said, "He'll want to book the tea rooms for the next G8 summit."

Saturday. Say No to C E L L O

The 41 came, ate, drank and praised us. The 18 members of the Queen's Park Sinfonia had their tea. Mid way through a man approached, said he was a cellist and asked me if he could warm up in the tea rooms until 8.30. I told him we'd be gone by 8 (with any luck) and he went away. He did, however, borrow one of our chairs which he used during the concert.
Apparently this chap is Ulrich Heinen, a world-renowned cellist.
The chair was outside the gate this morning, and I set it back under one of the tables in the conservatory.
It should have a plaque on it.