Saturday 10 December 2016

Diet

During the season we sell lots of Ruby's fudge.
Ruby is superwoman when it comes to fudge. She makes it, packs it, delivers or posts it and it's always delicious. She also makes loads of different flavours. Ever tried Christmas Pudding fudge?
Naturally this time of year is particularly busy so, when the tearooms close, I offer be an extra pair of hands whenever needed.
I'm sure she is concerned I would eat my body weight in the stuff and seriously dent any profits but this year she has finally taken me up on it.
Last week I stood for three hours in the deli of a local garden centre wearing an apron.
I offered tasters of various flavours to visitors who were scanning shelves for Christmas goodies and gifts.
And I learned a lot.
I learned that most people (like me) really love fudge but there are a few who don't carry the gene.
"I prefer cheese" said at least two who didn't even want to try it.
One man told me his dad had been in dental research and hadn't given his kids anything with sugar in until they were five years old. Result: no sweet tooth. Lucky man.
Then there are those who stood chatting and hoovering up the samples - three different flavours.
And my favourite of all, those who commented: "it's very sweet, isn't it?"
It's full of sugar. There's no getting away with it. Besides, I'd be VERY disappointed if it weren't sweet.
We sold out of Christmas Pudding flavour,  Brandy and Cranberry & Lemon Meringue.
I didn't eat too much.
Honest.

Monday 31 October 2016

Tour de Force

Season Seven all wrapped up.
Yesterday, our last of 2016, was busy which came as a surprise and meant we didn't have quite the level of leftover food we had secretly hoped for.

Two cyclists arrived, a man and a woman.
I've said before how much I love and envy cyclists because they rarely say no to cake but this man has been on a semi-regular basis this year and will order two or three slices for himself.
So is obviously VERY welcome.
He also brings other cyclists who often follow his example.
Because they can.

As he left with a female cyclist she introduced herself - Jan Birkmyre (see last Saturday's Telegraph). Her parents live close by and are very involved with the church and local events.
I have heard of Jan because of her amazing cycling achievements in recent years and I told her that we love seeing her companion because of his ability to put away a good deal of the sweet stuff.
She introduced me to him.
He's the cycling columnist for The Guardian.
William Fotheringham.
Lots of books too.
Quite a lot of Twitter followers:
when the cafe owner refers to you as the bloke who's been coming in all summer and eating all the cakes you know you're in trouble...


Thursday 20 October 2016

Cheerful and Cheap.

We have had a series of fairly quiet days with some cracking customers.
Alf was first in yesterday. He ordered an americano and sat in the main tearoom which gave me the opportunity to chat to him. He told me that he's 85 and his wife is in a care home with dementia. He had cared for her at home until he had to go into hospital for a prostate op.
He goes to see her every other day and holds her hand. He can't understand what she's saying any more so he just chats to her and nods when she speaks to him. He grows tomatoes in his greenhouse and has had to learn to cook since his wife became ill. He makes sure he has something to do every day, however small. He came to us for coffee because he and his wife used to come once in a while and have a drink in the garden.
He is smashing.  One of those people with an ever-present smile.
I couldn't bring myself to charge him for the coffee.

Compare that with the last arrival one day last week.
Three people came at the end of the day and sat in the garden. One of them came in and ordered a pot of tea. Just for one, she said.
When we took it out to her she asked for an extra cup.
Now our policy is one teacup per pot. We are generous with milk and extra hot water but we draw the line at two people sharing a £2 pot of tea (since they have been known to then ask for even more milk and hot water top-up) so we said we would have to charge for a second pot.
"I'm not paying £2 for a teabag," she said, "We'll both use the same cup."
She didn't appear to lack funds and was what my mum would have called well-spoken.
A few minutes later she brought back the tray and handed it to one of us, smiling and clearly pleased with herself.
"I used the sugar bowl," she said.
The sugar bowl was hot.
Presumably she'd emptied the sugar out onto the saucer, drank from the bowl then put the sugar back in it.
We threw the contents away.
And wondered at how well-spoken doesn't always mean well-bred.

Thursday 13 October 2016

When all else fails.

I have far too many unsolicited calls. Usually about electricity and gas supply.
They take up a lot of time so to be honest when I answer the phone and hear: "may I speak to the manager please?" I tell them the manager isn't in and won't be back for hours.
This is the quickest.
If I say that I don't take sales calls they insist it ISN'T a sales call and then ask for all sorts of information about bills and suppliers and it is so OBVIOUSLY a sales call that I have to be firm.
Today has thrown up a new tactic.
We took a call from a woman who claimed to be investigating a complaint.
The word "complaint" certainly grabs the attention.
She went on to say she was helping to sort it out with my utility supplier and when I asked where she was from she put me on to her manager who repeated that he was trying to sort out a complaint about my gas and electricity supplier.
I asked him to tell me who my supplier is?
He guessed.
Wrongly.
He guessed again.
Nope.
He said he could help get my bills down.
"You must think I'm stupid" I eventually told him, frustrated that I couldn't get him off the 'phone.
"I'm not stupid, YOU are." he replied.
I reassured him that I hadn't called him stupid (why was I still on the phone?) and he called me a pretty lady and twice referred to me as "love".
Yes. That's definitely going to work...

Scaling the Heights

Much busier than expected. Five of us working today and all at full speed over lunchtime.
It's dry but fairly chilly so it was all panini and jacket potatoes (now back on the menu after their summer away).

It's lucky we're so close to the end of the season.
Things (not to mention staff)  are on their last legs.
We're giving one of the dishwashers a rest as it's having difficulty working properly. We think it's a build up of limescale. The same problem has affected one of the water boilers. So useful that we have  two of each.
I made lemon drizzle cake this morning, the best I've made in a while. I think I've been a little too eager to get it out of the oven in recent weeks but today it stayed put and Mary Berry came up trumps again.

Source of discomfort.

Two and a half weeks left of the season.
I am less worried about ice cream than usual at this stage. I have a more laissez-faire/que sera sera attitude to it which will probably mean I won't have any and there'll be a heatwave in the last week of October.
We're also in that part of the year when we have a really busy, concentrated hour or so at lunchtime and a lot of slow custom either side. Yesterday I finally got around to sorting out my china teacups cupboard. These are the cups and saucers not in general use but brought out for tea parties and larger gatherings. Obviously there's an occasional breakage which means where we had six cups and saucers of one design we may now not have....
At the end of the exercise I had a pile of saucers unclaimed by cups.
Is there a solution to the single saucer issue? What should I do with them? Do they have a life after being made to be part of a pair?

Tuesday 11 October 2016

Me old china

We had a delivery last week. Four large boxes filled with gorgeous tea sets. 
A lady had rung two days earlier to ask if we would take her late mother's collection of cups, saucers, teapots and plates. 
"Lovely of you to think of us," I said.
"I'll be honest," she replied, "I'm just going through the 'phone book."

Then today another lady turned up with more plates, cups and saucers. 
She asked if we'd happened to find her granddaughter's toy sloth which she'd lost in August. 
We had indeed. 
We've become quite attached to him.

Tuesday 4 October 2016

Only When I Laugh

A couple of Saturdays ago I was celebrating my fiftieth birthday. Which was in May.
It's a year-long event.
I caught a busy train to London from Birmingham and sat with three ladies I didn't know but who all knew each other.
I read my book and tried not to eavesdrop.
But eavesdrop I did and heard a story which has been making me laugh ever since.

One of the women had been at a friend's house. This friend's father had gallstones, was in a lot of pain and had taken himself upstairs to lie down. 
The friend called an ambulance as she was so worried about her dad and sent her son upstairs to be with him.
The 999 answerer asked her to find out where the pain was.
She called upstairs: "Ask grandad where the pain is?"
"Where's the pain?" he dutifully asked and the grandfather replied that it was all over.
The son shouted down to his mum: "It's all over." 
Which made her yell into the phone: "Oh my god! He's dead."

Monday 26 September 2016

Opportunity Knocks (& isn't answered)

Earlier this summer I volunteered for a sort of trial thing. It was being run by the University of Worcester and the Trust Me I'm A Doctor programme on BBC telly.
I was one of sixty volunteers asked to eat a gluten-free diet for six weeks. We were all given two different sorts of pasta. We included pasta 1 in our diet for two weeks of the six and pasta 2 for another two weeks. The middle two weeks we were left to our own devices while remaining gluten-free.

When we all picked up our bags of pasta and were given our instructions a cameraman was floating around but the bulk of the filming was at the end of the trial and done in late August. I couldn't make filming day.

The programme aired two weeks ago.
As it went out I was in a pub saying goodbye to one of our wonderful members of staff who's made it on to a graduate accountancy trainee scheme.
My phone started to buzz with texts. When I got home there were Facebook messages.
All from friends saying they'd seen me on the telly.

I watched it back, of course. A fleeting glimpse is how best to describe it. I am sitting chatting to another volunteer.
Since it aired I have had dozens of people at the tearoom asking if it was me they saw on the tv?

I wish now I'd been wearing a Garden Tea Rooms t-shirt or apron.
Five weeks left of the season.

Sunday 18 September 2016

Bird Lover

I'm currently selling tickets to a fundraising event involving a talk in the village from a very good naturalist.
Brett Westwood (for it is he) knows a lot about wildlife but especially birds. He's written hundreds of scripts for the rather popular Tweet of the Day on BBC Radio 4.
Last week a couple arrived and commented on the difficulty they'd had walking from the Court to us. She has a back problem and wasn't relishing the return walk so I offered them a lift to their car.
He declined and said he'd walk over to the car park and get it himself, that he does a lot of walking and enjoys it.
I saw my chance and told them about the talk on 1st October.
"Well, he does like birds," she commented, "and of course he married one."
I laughed, thinking Carry On.
She went on: "No really, he did. My maiden name was Bird."
I asked what she'd traded Bird for?
She looked downcast and her lip curled a little as she said: "Glover".
"It's lover with a G," he added.
I felt he might have used that line before?
"His dad used it all the time," said the former Miss Bird.

Friday 16 September 2016

Ring the changes

I took a pot of tea and a filter coffee to a couple outside with, as usual, bowls of white and brown sugar. We only leave them on the table if sugar is needed.
"Do you take sugar with your tea?" I asked.
"No thank you," she replied, rooting around in her handbag, "I've brought some ding-dongs."
I asked her husband the same question.
"No, I have ding-dongs too."

So that is what we shall call sweeteners from now on.

Thursday 15 September 2016

When one door closes...

It's about this time of year that regular visitors begin to ask when we'll be closing for the winter.
A group of three in the garden this week did just this. I told them it would be the last Sunday of October. One of the gentlemen quickly looked up the date and asked me to confirm that we would, indeed, close our doors on 30th October. Yes. Sorted.
I set off back into the tearoom.
"And when are you reopening?" they called after me.
That's never happened before. I barely know what I'm doing next week so to look deep into 2017 was unnerving. I fudged a little and said it depended on when Easter falls next year.
They looked it up.
And forced me to decide.
I consulted the bit of this year's diary which has a small 2017 calendar, licked my finger, turned around twice, shut my eyes and plumped for Friday 31st March.
That'll do.

Weather or not?

On Tuesday the forecast was good - hot and humid - and we prepared for a busy day of cream teas in the garden.
Everyone else had taken note too and by late morning we had a full garden.
Then it went very dark.
There were a few spots of rain as a warning and then torrential rain, thunder and lightning. Drenched people arrived from all over. It didn't stop.
Yesterday dawned (and stayed) hot and humid.
Very humid. Steamed-up drinks fridge and multiple cold drinks.
Who knows what to expect today?


Friday 9 September 2016

A cut above

Nicole from Calgary was in today.
She's on her own, visiting every English Heritage property she can using a GPS on her tablet.
Trouble was that today it ran out of juice so she asked if she could avail herself of an electricity source while having a cream tea? (She was the second person who asked to charge a battery today. I might have to start, ahem, charging.)
While she was waiting she told me of her travels in the UK.  She decides where she'll stay on the day itself. No plans. No bookings. Just turns up.
After visiting one historic site last week she pitched up in a town and went to twenty b&bs which all had vacancy notices outside but when she knocked the owners said they were full.
At the twenty-first the lady who answered the door questioned her closely - who was she? how long would she stay? where had she been? Eventually she opened the door and allowed her to check in. Nicole thought it an odd town where everyone seemed so suspicious of her.
She asked whether there was a restaurant nearby?
"Yes," said her new landlady, "but you might want to freshen up first. Have you looked in the mirror recently?"
Turns out that after misjudging a wall earlier that afternoon, Nicole not only had a big bump on her head (which she knew about) but blood in her hair and on her face (which she didn't).

Double act

Me to a couple at the counter: "Eight pounds forty pence, please."
He gets out his wallet.
She says to him: "I've got the forty pence if you like?"
He says to her: "I'd rather you had the eight pounds."

Thursday 1 September 2016

Aches and Cakes

September dawns. Which means the bulk of the season is over.
Two months to go in which we'll say goodbye to the university-goers and -returners and we'll stop needing 8, 9, or 10 members of staff every day and drop back to 4 or 5.
We are enjoying very good weather for the last week of the summer holidays with busy days and lots of garden action. And lots of chocolate cake sales. And ice cream. The extra chairs which arrived last week are in almost constant use.
We had a good, sunny Bank Holiday weekend. Except in one respect: accidents.
On Saturday one member of staff was trampled by her horse and spent most of the day in A&E, a second fell off his bike on the way to work and had to return home to be patched up. He made it through his shift aching, with cut knees and arms. And a bashed-up bike.
On Friday a boy fell out of a tree he was climbing in the garden and, we think, broke his arm.
That's enough now, thanks.

Sunday 21 August 2016

Andrea True Connection

We're more than half way through the season.
We don't have enough outside chairs (so I've ordered more).
We don't have enough water glasses (so I've bought more).
We don't have enough capacity in the water boiler at cream tea peak times (must buy a kettle to give the boiler a breather).
We don't have enough hours in the day (not a lot I can do about this).

The Bank Holiday looms and the weather is good.
Uh oh.


Saturday 20 August 2016

Communication Cord

Wednesday was one of those days.
In the morning Annie was half way through taking a telephone booking when the line went dead.
This was a small problem.
The larger one was that no phone line means no card payments.
I rang the phone company who promised it would be fixed by the end of the next working day. They forwarded any work calls to my mobile but would do nothing about the card-taking issue.
And, as Wednesday was gloriously sunny and hot, a queue of people had already started to form for coffees, cakes, scones and then lunches. And then cream teas.
Emma's bright idea was to put up signs at the entrance gate warning people that we could only take cash.
Result.
We had people emptying their purses and digging deep into the recesses of bags to find enough stray coins to meet the cost of a cake.
Then the Court rang to say !!surprise!! A coach loaded with 46 had arrived and were heading straight to us for lunch.

The engineer came early afternoon to investigate.
He found a churned up cable in a nearby field, ploughed that very morning.
By mid afternoon on Thursday it was all sorted.

Tuesday 2 August 2016

Cold comfort

We finally have a brand new fridge.
It works.
Nufsed.

Let it go.

It's been miserable today and we didn't really expect many visitors, but this is the holidays...
One really lovely family had come from California. I gestured outside at the damp garden and they looked shocked that I was apologising for our so-called Summer: "We love it," they said, "we never see rain, and everything here is so green."
They ordered panini and sandwiches, and two hot chocolates for their two young sons.
Who may or may not have been twins but to my untrained eye were identical.
And about 8 years old.
Emma made the drinks and piled them high with marshmallows.
When she took them to their table one of the boys squeaked with excitement: "Ooo, I think a bit of pee just came out."
Emma was laughing all the way back to the kitchen.

Sunday 31 July 2016

Sweet surprise

The blazing sunshine has gone but we have been having lots of dry, warm, busy days.
Today we hosted an 80th birthday tea for ten. We had to use specific tea cups and saucers as when they'd first visited us a couple of years ago they fell in love with the crockery.
When they booked a few weeks ago the husband of the birthday girl took me on one side and asked me if I could provide a chocolate birthday cake, with "Happy 80th Birthday, Mum and Grandma" iced on it.
I passed that particular buck to Naomi who, naturally, came up trumps.
The cake was a BIG hit. The man who'd ordered it was over the moon that he'd managed to do something he'd never done before by surprising his wife.
The smile didn't leave his face.

The rain is due for the next couple of days. Time to take stock and reorder stock.

Friday 29 July 2016

Tea shirt

We now have uniforms.
Sort of.
Coloured t-shirts in green, blue, white and pink.
Most of the staff members have gone for green or blue.
As is evidenced here:


Thursday 28 July 2016

Early birds

10.10 A lady opens the door and sticks her head in.
"Are you open? It says 11 on the gate but we were just wondering..."
I told them we'd be happy to serve them just as soon as the kettle boiled.
"I'm sorry we're so early," she added, "but I've just taken my mother to the hospital for an appointment. Turns out we got the day wrong. It's next year."

Yes. Right day, wrong year.

Sunday 24 July 2016

Kaput

One of our large fridges gave up today.
It took a good deal of double cream with it when it finally died, having struggled valiantly against the heat of the week.
I just hope its condition isn't catching.

Saturday 23 July 2016

Euphonium euphoria

There was a wedding in the church today. Shortly beforehand a choir of fourteen came to relax their singing muscles by drinking (mostly) coffee and eating (mostly) cake. 
They were preparing to leave when the 80th birthday party organiser arrived with bunting and two gazebos (gazebi?) - one for the small band (Master Butchers Band) who were going to entertain them and ended up entertaining us all, the second for gifts and glasses and bags and boxes. 

We had put up our family's red gazebo on the tennis court in a panic over the potential heat in the conservatory. In fact everywhere was used. 
It looked like a mini fete. 
It felt lovely. 
There were lots of warm comments as they left. 
They can come again. 

Friday 22 July 2016

Baking

Still very hot.
The forecasters keep mentioning thunder storms but we haven't had a sniff of one here yet.
Sunny, hot weather means three things: lots of customers, lots of staff needed and a reluctance of my brain and body to function properly.
It's a fun combination.

Tomorrow we have a large family group (48) coming to celebrate an 80th birthday.
The conservatory will not be a forgiving place for sandwiches, anything chocolatey or anyone like me.

Wednesday 20 July 2016

Summer has arrived

A week ago it was pouring with rain and I sent staff home.
Now it's over 30 degrees and the shaded area under the trees is sought out by customers who linger long into the afternoon, reluctant to give up the prize tables and venture into the sun.
Those tables which are usually busy, the ones with umbrellas and a chance to catch the sunshine are empty.
Parasols just don't cut it.
It's VERY hot.

Friday 15 July 2016

New Broom

Yesterday was Theresa May's first as Prime Minister.
So far so good. It was a busy day. A good day for business. And everyone was lovely.
Of course this may have had something to do with the sunshine and the weather forecasters advising people to make the most of it.

Monday 11 July 2016

Cultural revelation

On Friday we hosted 40 Chinese teenagers for sandwiches and cream teas - our fifth year in a row.
The first time we played a part in the local school exchange we took the jam and cream to the tables.
By the time we'd returned with the scones the jam and cream had pretty much gone.
One teacher told me they'd added it to the sandwiches.
So I hatched a plan.
Since then I have demonstrated how to adorn the cut scone BEFORE delivering anything to the tables.
Every year there's still a surprise.
This time the group had never drunk tea with milk. Once they'd tried it they kept asking for more and more jugs and by the end of the afternoon the cups contained a splash of tea filled up with milk.
But they don't like cheese sarnies.

Friday 8 July 2016

Media

Lizzi, one of our young staff, says I should have an Instagram account so that I can take photos like she did of Afternoon Tea in the garden (complete with Wimbledon Cake):

My sixteen year old son says I shouldn't be on Instagram.
I must question him further about his reasons. Does he think me too old? Or not adept as a photographer? Or does he fear I'd post photos of him?

Tuesday 5 July 2016

Simple things

I delivered an egg sandwich and a ham sandwich to a couple in the garden on a warm, sunny day.
"Can I please move in here?" he asked, "you have everything that I need and want."
His was the egg sandwich.

Saturday 25 June 2016

In the mix

A tad late with the result, but that other referendum has rather taken centre stage.
The in-crowd (fruit scones) outnumbered the outers (plain scones) by 60-40%.
One lady who voted late on Thursday was very worried about the whole thing:
"Don't tell me the EU is telling you whether you can use sultanas in your scones?" I reassured her that our referendum was just a bit of fun. She picked up an A4 sheet of paper on which was printed:

"May I take this for my husband?" she asked, "he'll be really interested."
I'd be very surprised if he were.

Monday 20 June 2016

Washday blues

After the briefest of respites over the weekend we are back to rain this morning.
Last week I hung out washing on Monday (sunny morning) and it didn't dry until Saturday. It would be dry-ish and then sheets of torrential rain would come again.
Not great for full washing lines.
Not great for business.

Sunday 19 June 2016

Lucky girl.

We hosted a Christening party for baby Bella today.
The conservatory was a sea of pink.
Pink flowers, pink napkins, pink cake, pink balloon, pink cloths, pink sweets in jars for the children.
It was like a mini-wedding, complete with photographer.
Bella shared her day with fathers everywhere who were brought out, en masse, for lunches and afternoon teas.
I finally rang my own dad when we were clearing up at 5.
I had not sent a card. I am not a good daughter.
But I do love my dad.
I did very, very well in the dad lottery.

Saturday 18 June 2016

Outrageous fortune

Voting in our referendum is brisk. I keep running out of ballot papers.

Today we got very excited when an arrow was found in the grounds of Witley Court. English Heritage have hidden 1066 arrows around their sites. Here are more details.

This young man had found one under a bush and was speculating on what his prize might be. Mum quite fancied the night in a castle. He just wanted a holiday. Perhaps he should eat crisps instead of searching for arrows?



Thursday 16 June 2016

The Hokey Cokey

Our referendum has begun. Voting started today and ends on Thurs 23rd June. Even teenagers are being trusted to vote.
Fruit or plain scones? It's the question which divides families.


Wednesday 15 June 2016

Rain, rain, go away.

Rain.
Lots of it.
It was pretty bad over the weekend, when I was away at Ragley Hall for a food festival, but the first three days of this week have been even worse.
When it's like this we can't believe anyone would venture out. But they do, thankfully.
Yesterday among them was a lady who'd brought her friends from Utah.
She came to visit the avocado plant she had asked us to take on after it grew too big for her house. She had grown it from a stone and we've been looking after it since October 2012 (the other rainy season).
It loves the conservatory. She was happy to see it thriving.
Not so happy to be drenched when she took her US visitors up to see the church. They were back after a few minutes for cream teas.

Tuesday 7 June 2016

Deluge

An interesting day.
We opened early for a group of 24 who were coming from Cheltenham. They wanted coffee before their tour of the Church at 11.15. We were poised and ready at 1030.
Except they didn't arrive.
Well, they did, just not at 1030, or even 11. And then not to us.
We had a call from the Court Visitors' Centre at 11.15 to say the group had pitched up there and were making their way over.
And that a second group of fifty one had also arrived and were coming straight to us for lunch.

So which is better? A group of 24 who are expected but don't turn up? Or a group of 51 from Buckinghamshire who are wholly unexpected and need to be fed and back on their coach by 1pm?

Both groups were actually delightful, grateful and understanding.
Group A (Cheltenham) had their preordered two-course lunch in the warmth of the garden after their church and crypt tour.
Group B (Bucks) had coffees with us and ordered takeaway sandwiches so that they could see the Court with the little time they had.

By 2pm we were pretty quiet.
We waited for the forecast thunder storm which never came. Much like our morning guests.

Thursday 2 June 2016

Bread and Wine

A fantastic Bank Holiday weekend.
I would even go so far as to say I enjoyed it.
Which doesn't always happen.
It was busy, really busy. There was a Victorian weekend going on at the Court and the good weather brought hundreds and hundreds of visitors.
We ran out of panini by the end of Sunday lunchtime but this was deliberate. Honest. On busy days panini-cooking can hold everything up so it was good to start Monday without them on the menu.
It also meant the panini presses didn't have to be on and were not adding heat to an already hot kitchen.
It also meant that we ran out of sandwich bread when families switched from panini to sandwiches. I became chief bloomer-bread slicer.
So, note to self:
a) don't bother with panini for the August Bank Hol (unless it's pouring with rain)
and
b) order plenty of bread.
and
c) make a mountain of scones
and
d) order plenty of cream.

I have a day off tomorrow. I am going to meet my oldest friend at the Hay Festival, part of the We Are Fifty celebrations so I imagine a drink or two may be taken.

Wednesday 25 May 2016

GSOH

We're heading towards the next Bank Holiday weekend and have no idea what awaits. Apart from twenty people coming for a birthday breakfast of bacon sandwiches and scones on Monday.

It's a mixed-up week.
Yesterday was busy (Maisemore Local History Group) while today was relatively quiet.
At one point today though the conservatory was filling up but the main tearoom was totally empty.
Then a couple walked in and ordered tea and cake for two.
I suggested they might like to sit in the conservatory, unless they preferred to take their tea together away from everyone else?
"Oh no, no," she answered, "we're well past that. We've been married more than 49 years."
I asked them when the fiftieth anniversary would be?
"Next year," said he.
"Anything planned?" I questioned....
"Suicide" he answered.
She laughed and laughed.
So did he.
We liked them a lot.

Monday 23 May 2016

Aquarius

A strange weekend. Saturday was very quiet. We were overstaffed to the point that I went home to do some paperwork. Then Sunday was really busy.
Can't-fill-the-cake-display-fast-enough busy.
Whip-yet-another-pint-of-cream busy.
Busy.

Today we have had people from all over.
Four young women from Australia who wanted an early lunch.
A family from Portland, Oregon who wanted a late one.
And a man from the 1970s who asked for "a carafe of water".
A jug had to suffice.

I keep meaning to say that this week the wisteria is in full bloom and it's just marvellous.

Monday 16 May 2016

Not always with it.

Talking at cross purposes. I think that's what it's called.
On Saturday it was hot but we nevertheless sold a lot of jacket potatoes.
In fact we sold out of all the jackets we'd cooked in the oven to a fine crispness.
Shortly after reaching the no-jackets point I was stopped in the garden by a lady:
"Have you had a jacket handed in?" she asked.
I was bemused. Why would anyone hand in a jacket potato? How could it be lost?
I must have looked confused.
She repeated her question and pointed to an empty table where she'd been sitting for her lunch.
Then the penny dropped.
She meant a jacket. A real jacket. Just like the one we'd found when we cleared her table and which we had hung on the coat hooks.

Monday 9 May 2016

Power

A spider living in a light fitting - that's apparently been the cause of days of electric problems.
Not only that but a spider living in a light we don't even use.
Who'd have thought?
Lee thought.
Fortunately.

Sunday 8 May 2016

Trip Hazard

Since Thursday we have had electricity problems.
We know the trip system works well as on Friday we kept losing power. We'd track it to what we thought was the culprit, turn it off and then wait and hope.
All appeared well.
Then it would happen again and the finger would point to another assassin.
I was particularly bothered because I was going away for the weekend so we printed signs warning people that we may have a more limited menu and I waltzed away leaving the team to it.
The whole weekend (sunny, hot, busy) went brilliantly despite the intermittent supply.
Sometimes I don't think I even need to be there any more.
Lee (electrician) is coming tomorrow to try to sort us out.
Fingers crossed.

Thursday 5 May 2016

Day trip.

Sunny, hot. The second day in a row of proper Spring, nay one might even say Summer weather.
It's all very strange after the snow of last week.
The fans came out of the cupboard and we were reminded just how hard it can be to work in a hot kitchen on a hot day.
Then this afternoon we lost power. Resetting trips and testing what was causing the chaos took an age. Adrian thinks he's followed the clues to the immersion heater. I had feared it was fridge-related. We shall wait and hope.

I had several excellent cards for my birthday. Among them one from Katie which said: Tea is a gateway drug to biscuits.

Wednesday 4 May 2016

Irony or coincidence?

Today is my 50th birthday.
I know...much younger, right?

I was planning to take the day off but then I had a call from a lady asking if she could bring a coach party of 50 people for coffee and lunch. Yes, 50.

My cake will have to wait.



Friday 29 April 2016

Stealing Time

Everyone has a story and yesterday began with a cracker.
An Australian couple, who'd been trying to find the Church, were disappointed to find it closed for repair of the roof (due to reopen in a couple of weeks).
I asked if they were on holiday?
"Yes," she answered, "we're staying in Stratford. We came here because my great, great, great grandmother had a son christened in the church before she was transported to Australia."
I was fascinated, two ladies who had come in a few minutes before were fascinated. One of them knew of someone who'd written about those transported from Worcester and swapped email addresses.
Amelia Jones, the "convict" in question had been sentenced in 1831 for the theft of two shirts.
Also in the tearooms early doors was Geoff, a stalwart of the village who managed to get them inside the church where they had a proper tour, apparently, from one of the guys working there.
They came back for lattes and toffee cake with smiles on their faces and a donation to the restoration fund.

Tuesday 26 April 2016

Animal magic

We now sell flapjacks. Gorgeous fruity ones.
I didn't have a sign to put in the cake display at first but it's pretty obvious they're flapjacks and lots of people chose them. Lots.
Then Lizzi made a little sign: "Fruity Flapjacks" it said, and then beneath it she'd written, "vegan". We didn't sell another one all day.
We changed the sign. It no longer speaks of vegan-ness and normal service has been resumed.

Sunday 24 April 2016

Pillaged

We opened early to be the starting point for the Gay Classic Car Group's "West Midlands Drive It Day".
About 15 men and one woman kicked off their day with bacon & tomato panini, teacakes and coffee while I sneaked outside to photograph the cars which had somehow made it up the potholed farm track to us. 



Once they'd left we had another day of jacket potatoes and hot chocolates. Then it all went quiet so several of the team went home. 
Of course this meant we had a late onslaught of people including a group of nine Norwegians. 
"We are Vikings and hungry," said a lovely woman in her thirties, "which is your best cake?"
She said they liked chocolate so I suggested the praline cluster.
"We'll take nine of them," she said, "and six pieces of chocolate cake."
I tentatively offered sandwiches since she said they hadn't eaten since breakfast and it was, by now, four o'clock. She beamed. And ordered eight sandwiches, four green teas and three glasses of milk. 
The Vikings left smiling.

Saturday 23 April 2016

Four letter word

Sunny.
Cold.
Busy.
We sold out of soup and jacket potatoes (yes, that cold) and lost count of the panini. Hot chocolates went out one after the next - 6 on one order alone (yes, that cold).
We have one member of staff who is a proper lady.
We pretend that she swears all the time and any new, young members of staff are jokingly warned not to take any notice of her effing and blinding.
So I was rather taken aback this morning when I was telling her about a customer who spoke about the roof works at the church rather negatively yesterday.
"Who was he?" she asked.
In reply I told her he was a bit of a.....and was about to say "know-it-all" when she said, "tw*t?"
I paused, shocked, and then just nodded, not entirely sure I'd really heard it.


Wednesday 20 April 2016

thingummyjig

Summer has arrived. Briefly.
It has been hot and sunny all day. The regulation cardigan didn't even make it up to the tearooms today such was my confidence in the forecast.
We've been wonderfully busy with lovely people and the day started with some familiar faces.
Jim (nearly 92) came with his newly retired daughter, Lesley and her husband. Lesley said it was great to watch other people working. Yes, thanks, Lesley.
While we were chatting about the dreadful state of the farm track (the one which leads to the tearooms) in came Barry.
Barry comes regularly for a walk, a ham sandwich and a pot of tea.
I delivered a tray outside and knew most people by name which, I have to say, is quite unusual.
I'm terrible with names and have to write them down in the back of a notebook along with descriptions, dog breeds, usual orders etc to prompt me.
Today, though, the book was unnecessary.
After I'd greeted all those I knew (Morning, Bob. Hi Janet. Coffee, Peter?) a young man at one of the outside tables said: "How about a hello to Jack and Chris?".
Naturally I obliged.
I hope they don't expect me to remember them next time though.

Saturday 16 April 2016

Crowded House

Well that was a surprise.
I woke up to snow. Proper snow. Fat flakes falling at 7 in the morning.
By 8am it was raining.
I went in to make lemon drizzle cake and when we opened at 11 the sun was shining. Within half an hour we were busy with coffees and cakes and early lunches.

It was big groups day.
A local family met their Australian relatives and extended family for lunch. There were at least 12 of them.
Another set of 9 came shortly afterwards and then several groups of friends and families.
Some hardy souls even sat outside. It was bright and sunny but cold.

And almost everyone talked about the snow.
Four seasons in one day? You betcha.

Friday 15 April 2016

Not Out.

It's a giveaway that we're not busy when I post regularly.
When we're run off our feet and there's no time to talk to people I don't pick up many stories.
And then there's the fatigue which stops my brain crafting a line (for crafted they are believe it or not).
Today it rained all day. Again.
I thought we'd be horribly quiet but instead we were just quiet.
So that's not bad.
We had a few regular visitors and a lovely family from Liverpool. The children are still in their Easter holidays as because Easter was so early this year schools in their area chose to have a long bank Holiday weekend, then go back to school, then have a two week holiday later.
The first action of the little girl (aged about 10?) was to ask her mum if they could put something in our tips jar? I suggested she wait to see how we did...

In the middle of the afternoon Madge was brought for high tea to celebrate her 101st birthday:

The man who brought her is Nigel Montandon whose artwork happens to be on display at the tearooms until mid-May.
There's some of it on the walls behind him.
Look, there.

Thursday 14 April 2016

Sewing B

Look what Bev has made for us:



Bev joined our staff last year and is a wonderful addition. She cooks, she washes up, she smiles (a lot) and she has revolutionised our burns unit (we burn ourselves a lot) by bringing in a tube of aloe vera stuff.
We have had some quieter days recently. Bev took a look around and decided we needed new curtains for the conservatory entrance.
So she made them.
Everyone needs a Bev in their life.

A cross to bear.

It's wet.
It reminds me a little too much of 2012.
That word "unsettled" keeps making an appearance in the weather forecast.
Even on the bright days we feel we're never too far away from the next shower.
And so it hasn't been the best of season starts for us - I can't get the milk order right, I can't get the staffing right, I order too much bread or too few teacakes.
That said I am enjoying myself immensely. I have time to talk to customers. I play around with the gift displays, I make red onion marmalade in the middle of the day and drink way too much tea.

Today a Canadian man ordered coffee and cake and asked if we would charge his phone for him as he was out of juice. Of course. We took phone, charger and plug adaptor into the kitchen and Sara asked loudly if anyone needed to make any long-distance phone calls. He laughed.

My favourite interaction came with a couple who arrived mid afternoon for tea and cake.
"I'd like something chocolatey," said he.
I suggested the chocolate and praline cluster. A personal favourite.
"Has it got nuts in it?" he asked, and then when I told him it had, "I can't eat nuts. I do like them but they get under my plate."
"She doesn't want to know that," his wife said sharply.
He had a nut-less brownie.



Monday 11 April 2016

In touch

It rained all day.
The forecast was absolutely right.
And so, apart from at lunchtime, we had a quiet day.
I say "we" though in reality I wasn't there. After opening up I spent the day with the ironing board and got a call to say the tearooms would be closing early due to a distinct lack of customers.
I do want to minute one thing (for my older self):
There were 11 card payments today, 8 of which were contactless.
We have clearly taken well to the new machine.

Sunday 10 April 2016

The art of persuasion

"Two cappuccinos and a tea please," ordered a man accompanied by two ladies.
I asked if I could tempt them to cake or scones and the two ladies shook their heads. The man looked disappointed but let it be.
They went to sit in the conservatory to await their hot drinks.
He was back at the counter two minutes later to order three scones with jam and cream.
"You talked them into it, then?" I asked.
"Oh yes," he answered, beaming.

He should have a job here. He's clearly better than I am at sales.

Saturday 9 April 2016

Progress

It is astonishing how things change culturally even in the tearooms world. We are alerted to the shifts when we are asked by more and more people for certain things.
In my first year we were asked perhaps every couple of weeks whether we had anything gluten-free. Now it's at least twice a day.
In my second year a few people began asking whether we had anything dairy-free. Before that I think I was asked only once in the entire season. Now our dairy-free cakes are always available.

This year the shock came early. Over the Easter weekend we were asked time and time again, "Do you do contactless"?
I had no choice but to act.
So today we feel we've entered the 21st Century. After a fashion.
Contactless is all very well but the terminal is still on a 'phone line so it only speeds the process up by a few seconds.
We have a few more steps before it hits the really impressive mark.


Monday 4 April 2016

Lock in

We don't have many celebrities in our neck of the woods so we get a little excited if we spot one.
Ann Widdecombe turned up in my first season. She drank tea in the garden.
Roger Cook came with friends for lunch in the conservatory a couple of years back.
Matt Baker did a Countryfile episode two years ago in the Church and Court but it was out of tearooms season so we didn't even get to make him a coffee.
Today we had real excitement when this man came with his family:

I can tell you very little except they all sat in the garden and ate sandwiches. Sean Lock himself had our homecooked ham & tomato. I may have to change the menu: "as sampled by...".
Since he was kind enough to patronise our place we thought we'd return the favour and this evening have attempted to buy tickets for his forthcoming tour, Keep it Light.
No joy. Only single seats left.




Sunday 3 April 2016

Ours is not to reason why

Favourite order of the day:
"Skinny cappuccino please with chocolate, a regular one with no chocolate and two chocolate brownies."

Saturday 2 April 2016

Thank you.

Not a particularly busy day except in one respect.
The first man in this morning (latte and toasted tea cake) was carrying a crash helmet. He asked if he could bring 10 or so motorcyclists for a coffee break en route to Cosford in June.
Then at 11 o'clock a couple came to see me about a tea party in early May for their daughter's 21st birthday (22 people).
Just after they'd left a couple with a young baby arrived to ask if we could host their daughter's Christening party (30+ people) in July.
And then this afternoon Joy from a gardening group in Gloucestershire asked me about lunch for 20-40 in early July.

We've also had an extraordinarily large number of REALLY nice people in today.
The kind of people who go out of their way to let us know that they've enjoyed their visit.
The kind of people who keep us smiling broadly.
The kind of people who write this sort of thing:

It is to them that I raise my first glass of wine this evening. Oh alright then, and the second.

On Wednesdays he goes shopping...*

Friday was sunny but cold and we had a lot of cold hands needing to be warmed by hot drinks. Among the first were a couple of mums and their children.
Who were all boys.
The girls, they told me, had just been dropped at a "pony pamper day". Which obviously prompted a few questions.
Apparently the girls would first ride the ponies and then pamper them - would brush them and put clips in their hair. Then they'd paint their nails. The nails of the ponies that is. 
Who knew?

Towards the end of the afternoon a man ordered a cream tea. 
The lady with him said to me , "Make that two," and then to him "and I'm paying". 
"That's nice," he said, "but why?" 
"Well you chopped that tree down for me," she answered, "and then made that gorgeous curry."
A friend indeed. 

*...and has buttered scones for tea. 

Thursday 31 March 2016

Can't Touch This

Sunny and lovely meant we were busy today. Not Bank Holiday busy, thank goodness, but kept-on-our-toes busy. The sort of busy which means we get into a stride and the day flies by. 
We have an order system which uses wooden spoons instead of table numbers. 
Each orderer is given a painted spoon with a number on it and asked where they're planning to sit (main tearoom? conservatory? outside?). When we have a tray ready with their tea, lunch, cake, we then call out the number and find whoever is waving the brightly coloured wooden thing at us.
Today I took an order from a lady and offered her spoon number 27. 
"Do you mind if I get my daughter to come and pick it up?" she asked, "I just don't like touching wooden spoons." 

Tuesday 29 March 2016

Miss Heard

Confusion reigned when Mary was talking to two couples who were leaving after lunch towards the end of today. They asked her a question which she thought was' "Do you sell your hand cream?" We have gorgeous Heyland and Whittle stuff in the ladies' loos and do, indeed, sell it.
So Mary answered with a big fat YES and walked them to the gift display.
Where they looked totally baffled.
They hadn't asked about hand cream.
They had asked whether we ever sold our ham.
Each couple left with a parcel containing thick slices of it.
And no hand cream.
Mary left giggling.

Diamond Plus

I forgot to mention Wyndam and Pam came for lunch yesterday with friends.
They are the grandparents of our first ever bride (2011) and are always a pleasure. I've never seen them without a smile.
Yesterday they were celebrating their 63rd Wedding Anniversary.
That's SIXTY THREE YEARS.
Wyn is counting the months till his 90th birthday (13).

Riders in a Storm

Bank Holiday Monday was very different from previous Easter Mondays.
We were busy but certainly not overrun.
We didn't run out of anything.
We chatted to customers.
No one waited very long for their orders.
We had time to refill the drinks fridge and the cake display.
It was strange and very pleasant.

On Friday I wanted to shut up shop. Yesterday I was very happy to be back.

I had arrived to the sound of loud but distant engine roars.
Easter Monday is the Redmarley Freak Hill Climb , always well attended even on the wettest of Bank Holidays.
On Sunday a group of ten people had come in for lunch and cake & told us that they always come to Witley for this particular weekend. They pointed to a lovely looking young man (how old do I sound?): "He rides in the hill climb," they said, "Actually, he won it last year."
No mean feat. The hill is practically vertical.
Storm Katie was due and I asked where they were staying. "We're in caravans up there," they said, "but there are plenty of people in tents." I wonder if they lasted the night in them....

Saturday 26 March 2016

24 little hours

Two very different days.
Yesterday was rammed. People started coming at 10.30 and didn't stop. They queued into the conservatory and no matter how many orders we filled and took out the queue didn't diminish. 
A real shock to the system on day two of the season.
Every table inside and out was filled, emptied and filled again. We ran out of almost everything. No time to talk to customers.
I hated it.

Then today - cold, windy and rainy, but still Easter weekend - we didn't break a sweat. There was time to chat to visitors who'd come from all over the Midlands. 
A lady told me about a material shop she can spend hours in ("not to mention money" added her husband). 
A man wearing two-tone shoes, a waistcoat and floral shirt told me he used to dress very badly but has recently started to dress up and now loves it. 
The wind blew the garden furniture about a bit and a pinnacle off the church (no one was hurt in either incident and no one could really explain what a pinnacle is).
We closed up and were locking up at 5. 
Yesterday it was 6.45. 
I have no idea what to expect from Easter Sunday. 

Thursday 24 March 2016

Fudged

Day one of the 2016 season:
Burnt potatoes, mad dash for tomatoes (forgot to order them) a bacon, Brie and cranberry panini with a distinct lack of cranberry. Still emptying boxes into the gift display at close of play.
These sort of things are the very reason we have a "soft" opening. And I think we got away with it.
Tomorrow is the hard stuff.
A Bank Holiday on the second day.

On the upside, Ruby arrived with a delivery of her fudge and a bag of rejected stuff. Our eyes lit up. "It's grainy," she said, "so I had to start again." (She's just bought a new fudge kettle and is getting used to it.)
There is, honestly, nothing wrong with the rejected blocks.
They certainly don't rate as seconds in my book.
The five of us who were working today kept trying them to make sure.
And we've taken some home so that no one else is forced to eat it.
You're welcome.

Thursday 17 March 2016

Seven

Year itch
Blake's
Deadly sins
Dwarves
Seas
Lucky

In one week we'll be open seven days a week for the next seven months.
And it's my seventh year.

Tuesday 15 March 2016

Deadline

Today we have been cleaning the tea rooms in preparation for reopening next week.
Dust doesn't photograph well, otherwise there'd be a large number of images here to show just how much of the stuff was generated from replacing the old floor (carpet) with a new one (Is it wood? Is it laminate? Is it tile?). The dust mountain was added to by replacing the counter top and the main lights.
Now the dust has gone, banished by vacuums and j cloths and mops, but there's still so much to do.

This is the worst part (remind me of this when I write "this is the worst part" midway through the season"). I'm looking forward to opening but can I get everything done? Can I remember to order what's necessary? Will the machines we rely on work on the first weekend of the 2016 season? Which also happens to be a Bank Holiday weekend.
And which some are already predicting to be the sunniest and warmest of recent years.
See my point?

Saturday 20 February 2016

Choices choices

I have a list of tasks to complete over the months we're closed.
One of the most pleasant jobs* has been to source a new fruitcake supply since Sue decided to close her baking business.
I thought it would be daunting and difficult but Naomi has made it anything but.

Yesterday was a tasting session.
We had a glorious choice - they all had something different about them, an added ingredient here and there.
What a great way to spend a morning. 
Naomi has come up with a real smasher - a proper, old-fashioned, moist cake absolutely full of dark, soaked fruit. 

There are four fruitcakes in this photo. 
The one with the strange look on her face is me.






*not really a job, let's face it.