Tuesday 30 June 2015

If you can't stand the heat...

They can't say they didn't warn us.
Last week the forecasters told us it was going to be hot. A heatwave. A difficult-to-sleep-in kind of heat. 
And it is.
It's even more difficult to work in.
Especially when there's an hour-long power cut which means we can't open the freezers and the fans aren't working (3.45-4.45 this afternoon).
This didn't seem to worry the many who sat in the garden shade, sipping elderflower presses and eating the first Wimbledon Cake of the season.
I made it this morning - orange zest sandwich sponge, filled with fresh local cream, local strawberries and not-so-local passion fruit, topped with more strawberries. I so wish I'd taken a photo but it had all gone before it even crossed my mind. 
I shall try again tomorrow but may be thwarted by an overdue visit to the dentist. 
Who I am sure will tell me to eat more cake.


Wednesday 24 June 2015

Glimpse of another life

Overheard, as I was clearing a nearby table:

"....and you hang in that one spot and meditate.
It's absolutely extraordinary.
That's the reason I'm going on this retreat."


Sunday 21 June 2015

a big yes from me

My kind of email:

Hello Gill
I am planning to visit the tearooms and to have a dozen or so of my motorcycling friends meet me there too.  We have been before on several occasions. Although our bikes might be noisy smelly things most of the riders are not and I can assure you there will be no shootouts or anything like that, just a few geriatric bikers looking for a cuppa and bite to eat!
Hope this won't be a problem to you?
Regards
Stuart 
Velocette Owners club

Wednesday 17 June 2015

Four letter word

We have a jar on the counter for tips, should the fancy take someone to express their happiness with our service through the medium of loose change.
It's there more in hope than expectation.

This is how we advertise it:


which, of course, leads to some scrabbling. There's not a great deal of choice, given there are only four letters, but quite a few have a go.
This is typical:


As is this (usually accompanied by a schoolboy guffaw):


But this week someone came up with a NEW one. 
After nearly five years of PITS and SPIT someone thought out of the box:

Clever and appropriate. 
And he even dropped a coin in the jar.

Monday 15 June 2015

accounting for taste

So there's a lady in a brilliantly orange t-shirt and she's looking at the choice of cakes and she asks her husband what he'd like and he points at the millionaire's shortbread and she says what? I can't believe you've chosen the most boring one I'm having the victoria sponge.

Saturday 13 June 2015

What it's all about

Three conversations today made me smile.

I was clearing a table in the conservatory as a couple was leaving:
"I can't think why we haven't been here before," said she, "it's lovely."
"Are you local, then?" I asked.
"No we're from Newbury in Berkshire" came the reply. Which I felt suggested exactly why they may not have been to us before....

The second was a conversation I have at least once a week. Usually with a man.
It goes something like this:
Him: a hot chocolate and a coffee please?
Me: what sort of coffee would you like? Latte, cappuccino, filter, mocha, americano?
Him: Oh god.

And then there's Jim who always makes my day. This week he's 91. He looks strong as an ox, has a broad smile and an indescribable charm. Ten family members from 3 generations came for scones and cake to celebrate his birthday. Jim had both and took cake home as well. Their laughter rang round the tea rooms which was otherwise pretty quiet. It had not been a busy day (it had rained and rained and rained).
When he came in I introduced him to a lady at the next table who's celebrating her 80th tomorrow. Neither of them look their age.
Both of them ate cake.
There is hope for me yet.



Monday 8 June 2015

A many splendoured thing

On Saturday morning a gentleman ordered two coffees and a toasted tea cake and told me he'd be sitting in the conservatory where his wife had already taken her seat.
I took the tray to them.
The lady looked questioningly at her husband when she saw the teacake.
"It's a surprise for you," he said, and then added, "happy anniversary."
She looked at me.
"Happy Anniversary," I said.
"He's bought me a teacake?" she asked, as if for confirmation, and stifling a giggle.
"I think it's romantic," I said, then: "how long have you been married?"
"Fifty six years today," she answered, "and he's not only bought me a teacake as an anniversary present, he'll also expect me to share it with him."


Monday 1 June 2015

They dined on mince and slices of quince

"I have a complaint," he said when I arrived at his table for the second time, "my runcible fork is for right-handed people and I am left-handed."


He had a twinkle in his eye. He also had a point.
Which had never been made to me before.
To start with I'd never heard a pastry fork called "runcible" and I didn't really know what it meant. I gathered that it was a fork with a sharp edge for cutting.
"He's looked everywhere for a left-handed one," added his equally lovely wife, "believe me he's bought them from all over the place but when they arrive they're all right-handers."

I went back inside and checked our stock (must have been a quietish day...)
I found two pastry forks which were of indeterminate right-leftness. Neither had a sharp edge. I took them out to show him.



"Hmmm, I see," said he, "Not really runcible though."

He looked at this one:



"I particularly like this," he added, "it's very Roman."

I turned to his wife and told her that he seemed to know his forks.
She rolled her eyes, "We have a very interesting marriage" she said, smiling.