Monday 30 September 2019

I am the walrus

Yesterday morning we took a call.
“What time are you open?” a gentleman asked, “and are you still selling your egg mayonnaise sandwiches?”
We told him times and that yes the sandwich remains on the menu.
We were slightly taken aback that an egg sandwich could create such fervour.
He said he would see us later.

Towards the end of lunchtime a man ordered a few lunch items including an egg mayonnaise sandwich.
“Are you the gentleman who called earlier?” I ventured.
He looked quizzical. It definitely wasn’t him. He was not the egg man.

Monday 23 September 2019

Great Expectations

Today Ollie (18) was teaching Mary (70ish) a few words to add to her vocabulary.
When she went home she was going to tell her husband that she had made bare scones this morning and was bare tired.
Rosie did her first day with us. We had £5 each in tips. We told her that this is far from normal and that often we share less than £5 between us. We certainly don’t want to raise her hopes.
The bulk of the money had come from a lovely group of friends who had booked High Tea for thirteen people, two of whom were diabetic. This was a first for us and a challenge.
Naomi made a low sugar chocolate cake and among Mary’s bare scones were a few sugar-free ones. We also made a sort of jam from apple, pear, strawberries and raspberries (no sugar at all) to serve with the scones.
We were all pleased with the results.
So, thankfully, were the thirteen.

Food for Thought.

Two panini conversations took place yesterday.
The first was with a man who had brought an international group on a history/heritage tour.
“Your panini,” he began, “what are they like because I don’t really get on with them. I’ve had a few on my travels and they’re always hard and crispy. Are yours? Or are they unctuous?”
I should have suggested that if he hadn’t got on with them in the past then perhaps panini weren’t his thing but he decided he would order one with a filling of our home-cooked ham and cheddar.
I went through to the conservatory where the group was finishing lunch.
I asked what he thought?
His face told the whole story.
“Perhaps,” I ventured, “it’s time to give up on panini. It’s an affair that’s never going to work. Leave it and move on.”
He looked saddened.
A cream tea put the smile back on his face.

Then, a short while later:

“Can I be awkward?” she asked.
It was a fairly quiet, rainy Sunday, so I wasn’t phased.
“Instead of bacon, brie and cranberry on my panini please may I have bacon, brie and pesto?”
I told her she wasn’t at all awkward and we’d give it a go. I also told her that if she thought it was a winner then it may just end up on our menu...
She returned to the counter to tell me that it was delicious and should really be a regular.

Friday 20 September 2019

Pause o Men

Act One
Scene One
The Tearooms main room at the counter. An Australian man and his British wife have just placed their order of coffee and cake with a fifty-something woman called Gill. It is a warm, sunny day and fairly hot inside.

Australian man: Cor, it’s very hot in here? Don’t you think it’s hot?
Gill: Try being a woman of a certain age.
British wife: (smiling and nodding knowingly)  I feel your pain.
Australian man: Try being married to a woman of a certain age.

Guessing Game

It’s been a mixed week and very hard to judge.
Should we cook another ham? How many jacket potatoes will be ordered? How many staff will we need? How many scones should we bake?
All impossible questions to answer with any certainty. 
Monday was relatively steady and posed no problems. 
Tuesday a little busier but easily managed.
On Wednesday, when I was away taking my younger son to start university, everyone else in the world decided to have lunch at the tearooms.
Yesterday we were prepared for busy. 
Then the phone rang. 
It was one of the staff at Witley Court telling us that a coach of thirty people had turned up. There’d be a quick tour of the Court and then they’d be coming to us.
We went into overdrive on preparation. 
A few lunch orders came in, a few coffee orders.
A few take-away orders.
One lady mentioned that she didn’t have time for lunch as they had to get back...
The coach party didn’t really materialise, just a handful of them made their way to us.
Fortunately we were pleasantly busy with non-coach visitors so our adrenaline wasn’t wasted.

Monday 9 September 2019

That’ll teach us.

An odd day.
Due to a one-day staff shortage I was in the kitchen preparing lunches.
The weather was so wet and miserable that only a few hardy souls ventured out and I only had to tackle four lunch orders.
We had begun all the clearing away for the day when a lady came in, ordered cakes and a couple of hot drinks and told us that we were about to be inundated. She was part of a group of thirty trainee teachers who were on a team-building day and they were all heading our way.
She was absolutely right.
We went from having two people sitting quietly in the main tearoom to a room full of cake and scone eaters.
I gave them all A*.

Sunday 8 September 2019

Lucky in Love

This weekend we hosted a special tea for Gill and Brian and their family.
Gill and Brian were celebrating 63 years of marriage.
As they were preparing to leave after sandwiches and tea and cakes and scones, Gill told me that she met Brian at school when she was 14. She was 19 when she married him in 1956.
Their daughter showed me their wedding photo:



Friday 6 September 2019

Any answers

This year has been the year of the telephone survey.
We must be on a list.
I’ve taken part in three long, involved surveys carried out on behalf of three different government departments.
I honestly don’t know what they’ll learn from asking questions about an independent tearoom but I accept that it’s a duty I should perform.
The last one was from the Education department. It was about training and apprenticeships and staff numbers.
There was also the now inevitable question about whether we export anything to Europe or indeed beyond. Nope.
I have answered this question so many times over the past three years that I’m beginning to wonder if we should set up an EU wide cream tea delivery service.
We could call it “Scone with the Wind”. Or maybe not.

The most interesting survey was on behalf of the Ministry of Defence who wanted to know what anti terrorism measures I have taken or am planning to take.

Wednesday 4 September 2019

Special Weapons and Tactics

The wasps are in decline. Thank goodness.
Nine wasp traps and thirty swatters to loan out to customers have done their job.
The swatters brought a smile to many faces. Not one customer suggested we shouldn’t be killing insects.
One lady told me that her friend is a Buddhist.
“So she doesn’t like to kill wasps?” I suggested.
“On the contrary,” she said, “she believes wasps come to her house to be helped on to their next life.”