Innov8

I've been sent a letter from the Office for National Statistics asking me to complete the UK Innovation Survey on behalf of my business, covering 2014-16.
It's a pretty official letter which says I'm "required to complete" the survey online by 7th April. It does say it's voluntary but adds that my response would be "of great value to government."

I'm no rebel so I've just spent 25 minutes answering questions about innovations IN A TEAROOM.
I feel like a charlatan.
We expanded our range of gluten and dairy free goods but is that innovation?
We added gifts and cards to our shelves and sold them. Is that what they want to know?
We started making milkshakes (and stopped again). Does that count?
Well, it's innovation for us so I filled out the survey with that sort of thing in my mind.
I skipped quickly through the bit that asked if we'd used patents or exclusivity agreements when we introduced our "innovations" and the part which asked how much we export...
Obviously the survey would yield better results from a different business. ANY other business, really. Still, I did as I was told.
And I hope my answers prove of great value to governments everywhere.

Down those country lanes

Two weeks until the start of the season.
I have palpitations writing those words but I'm actually a lot calmer than usual.
I know I have time to do the Spring Clean, the Portable Appliance Testing is being carried out this weekend, the diary is filling up with bookings and we have a couple of weeks of the season before Easter hits.
My gap-year son is going to repaint the ageing finger-post for me. This will, with luck, send people the right way up to the church and prevent confusion.
In. My. Dreams.

Which reminds me - last night I dreamt Ed Sheeran gave me a lift home. There were two other people in the car but I didn't know them.
I know, fascinating.