Fake news

Today was fib-to-your-children day.
I took a coffee and a piece of fruit cake to a man with a very young son. He would have been no more than 3, I reckon.
As I put the cake on the table dad said to his little boy, “Look at that big piece of chocolate cake.”
I opened my mouth to correct him and he winked at me.
Making me a full accomplice in the untruth.

Later in the afternoon I overheard a conversation at the till.
A mother was saying to Olivia (who was serving), “Ah, so you only sell ice cream in the summer?” She said it in a very deliberate way, quite loudly and slowly. Olivia has only worked with us for a short time and I sidled up to her to tell her that we do indeed have plenty of ice cream.
Olivia gave me a meaningful look.
I backed off.
The mother then explained to her young daughter that she couldn’t have ice cream because we didn’t have any. She too had used a wink to involve Olivia in the deception.
Brazen. Bare faced.
Clever.

Like Father Like Will

Yesterday was lookalike day.
A couple sitting in the main room told me I looked just like their friend, Diana. Not only do I look like her but I walk like her and have the same mannerisms. I asked if she was nice? Ooh yes, they said.
Then an American couple told Will he reminded them of “Father Jonathan from Fox News”. We had to look him up.
Here he is:

And here’s Will:

A veritable doppelgänger.

A Star is Born

 A glorious autumn day. Sunny but chilly. Just how I like it at this time of year.
We were busy enough but not overrun which gave me a chance to chat to a few people and, most unusually, to eat lunch at lunchtime.

The quince soup (it has so many vegetables in it we can’t list them all) is tangy and rather delicious.
Tomorrow I shall introduce celeriac to quince and see what sort of marriage that makes.

Quincy Mystery

Today is the day.
The first day of using quince in soup (the crumble was a winner).
Bev has made it using butternut squash, sweet potatoes and, obviously, quince, but when we tasted it we all thought it a bit odd, a bit too sweet. Dan suggested we serve it as a cake sauce.
Ten minutes later Bev had worked magic with a little cumin.
It’s a glorious colour and tastes delicious though next time we won’t go so quince-heavy.
I shall be having it for my lunch today.

Quince

Autumn has most definitely arrived.
Strong winds, rain and grey skies are the order of the day and we’ve been so quiet that we closed at 3pm.
George’s quince tree has borne proper fruit (and the wind has brought them down).
Two large boxes of quince are now tripping people up in the kitchen and there’s only so much membrillo a man can eat so I’ve been looking for soup recipes.
And found lots.

Shortly to be found on the Tearooms menu may be Butternut Squash and Quince Soup, Parsnip and Quince Soup, Celeriac and Quince Soup, Quince and Quince Soup.
Tonight I’m going to attempt a Quince Crumble.
I think Quince Quiche would be too much of a mouthful.

Lost list

Half way through September.
The weather is unpredictable.
The customer numbers are unpredictable.
The ordering is unpredictable.
What is predictable is that someone will leave something with us when they leave.
We have umbrellas, cardigans, jackets, hats.
We also do a good line in lost drinks bottles. Here is a small selection:

Please release me.

I mentioned the teapot/mini bowl problem on Facebook and several friends came up with suggestions of how to get the two bloody things apart.
WD40 was popular. Swarfega. Ice and hot water. Body lotion. Cooking oil.
Louise asked if there would be a prize if she could separate them (she was on the rota for today) and I lied and said yes.
This afternoon, after the lunchtime rush (and it was a rush. Three large groups, only two of which had booked) I removed it from the fridge and handed it to Louise. She looked at it, turned it around for a while, and then when I wasn’t looking she took a large knife and gave the little bowl a sharp blow.
Out it flew.
Without breaking.
“It was risky,” she said, “but it worked.”

Stuck fast

A dip in temperature.
The sun disappears.
The customer numbers drop.
We had a lovely day today with waves of busy-ness: a lunch wave followed by a large group of walkers who all wanted tea and cake.
It’s still just warm enough to sell a lot of salads (which is exactly what happened today) but tomorrow jacket potatoes will be back on the menu. We removed them back in May when the temperature in the kitchen threatened to melt us.
Our only problem today?
What to do about this:

To heat or to cool, that is the question.

The summer’s scone.

I thought it might be quiet today. If not quiet then certainly not busy.
It’s the last weekend of the school holiday and there are school shoes and ties and shirts and PE kits to buy, pencil cases to sort and new bags to pack.
I was wrong.
Perhaps those things have already been done. Perhaps there are a couple of days left in the week to do them.
Which meant that today tables filled up, emptied and filled again.
The weather was fine and dry.
We needed every one of our nine staff.
Please, self, remember this for next year.