Cream crackered

The cream is all gone.
On raspberries.
On strawberries.
On scones.
In filter coffee.
And I'm exhausted.
As is my friend Jo on her annual trip to Worcestershire.
She reckons she's walked the garden at least a hundred times today calling out table numbers and delivering orders.
She'll sleep well tonight.

Never did run smooth

It's happened. I've been asked for a "flat white" coffee. A cyclist couple arrived in need of cake (they had two pieces each). She wanted tea. He coffee. I thought I'd better check before I made my first one - what is it? "Dunno" he said, "just make whatever, it'll be fine". I'm certain what I made him was not, in fact, a flat white which I now think is pretty much a double-shot frothy latte. But he drank it.
The first person through the door yesterday made me laugh. He was wearing a Tshirt which said: There are three types of people in this world, those who can count and those who can't.

Then in late afternoon, the event of the day:
A girl left her 'phone number on a piece of paper on one of the tables. It was addressed to "the blonde haired waiter" and signed from "the girl in the blue shirt". Unfortunately for her we have two blonde 17 year old waiters, both of whom were working yesterday.
She's going to have to be more specific.

Cold hard cash

My big brother came for coffee today. We sat outside together (until the volume of people streaming in forced me to abandon him) and talked. He's just sort of retired but starts a new job on Tuesday. And he wouldn't have anything to eat because he's on some weird diet that doesn't allow cake.
Many a family came today and there was not one particular thing they favoured. We made mountains of sandwiches, quiche, ploughman's, ham salad and paninis. And we had to cook another ham. I think that's the fourth day in a row.
Ice cream delivery comes tomorrow (we're out of mint choc chip and are low on the other 4 flavours) and with luck more pressés too (no ginger beer or elderflower left).
Two little girls cleaned tables with their face wipes at going home time and helped me put the tables to bed. Their mum sent them in for their wages - a Just Scrummy ice lolly.

Blood and guts

Another first.
This morning I cleared up someone's, well, there's no delicate way of saying it, vomit.
When I arrive to open up in the morning the dog has a run around outside the gate. I found the offending pile on the way up to the Church and thought it wouldn't be a very welcome sight to those wending their way to us for scones. Or quiche.
Such was my state of mind after the operation that when I left to pick up red onions and mozzarella I forgot to leave any money in the till.
And that's another thing.
We are well served in our rural land by plenty of village stores and post offices. They sell lots of fab stuff, not just basics. In our properly local PO and stores you can get your dry cleaning done and pick up an Indian Balti.
But none of them stock mozzarella.
I had to drive 12 miles for four balls this morning.
Another lovely, busy day where the sunshine meant everyone ate in the garden. One man had ham salad and then bought four slices to take home.
I sliced into my thumb as I tried to slice the ham.
Blue plasters r us.

Rocky Road?

Today there were five of us working. We had extra tables outside - the conservatory was a no-go area because of the heat. A couple of ladies were among the first in. They sat at the end of the garden and drank coffee. Then they had lunch. Then they bought plants and left. We reckon they stayed chatting for about 3 hours.
We had a group of twelve from a care-in-the-home company in Shropshire coming to the Court and then to us for lunch. A few were in wheelchairs but they made it down the bumpy drive for their day trip and to the Church for a 15 minute talk on its history. They were going from us to a river cruise in Stourport.
I've put up my bread order cos we're using SO much. Today was sandwich city, and we ran out of paninis. And soup.
Only had to ask one person not to smoke today. Hurray.
Visitors' Book message: HOME COOKED HAM - BEAUTIFUL.
Written by someone called Sly.

Count on Us.

Today had the feel of a Bank Holiday. People came all day and dragged all the outside tables into the shade. They ate an entire apple cake, victoria sponge, chocolate cake, one and a half coffee and walnut, one and a quarter toffee cakes, a carrot cake plus chocolate brownies, cherry and almond slices and trays full of scones. We almost ran out of cream. We did run out of granary bread, but only just before finishing lunches so it wasn't too awful. I got by on a wing and prayer with limited change. There's always someone with a pocketful of pound coins if you ask.
A very pleasant group of ten booked a table inside for lunch. They stayed for hours, mainly because when they asked for their bill I had a queue of people and couldn't get to the adding up.
We're now serving local raspberries and strawberries and cream (when we haven't run out) - in bone china tea cups and saucers. Am exceptionally proud of the way they look.

High School Blues

Today is my last day of primary school. Have just done my last primary school run. As of September I shall pack off two boys in black blazers at 8am and they'll get off the school bus at 4, thus extending my day by 2 hours. This is a good thing. But I feel terrible. Bereft. Sad. Older.

Arty Party Day

The 44 members of the Weston Super Mare National Trust Association arrived for coffee and cake and to see the Church. They were lovely, raved about the scones, and left us with a warm fuzzy feeling and an empty tea room. Then 8 ladies arrived for lunch and we grew busier and busier.
Then an art group of about a dozen ladies arrived, set up in the garden unannounced and ordered apple juice. One apple juice. I went to speak to the organiser to suggest that in future they might let us know they're coming (so we can ensure we have a bottle of apple juice). She said they come every year. Though not last year because the weather was poor.
The day finished with a group of ten staff from a local primary who did come last year and who had booked. And they had lots of tea and cake.

Blink and it's scone.

On Sunday we had another first. We catered a ten-year-old's birthday party. He and ten of his mates sat in the conservatory and wolfed down sandwiches, mini sausages, crisps, cucumber and carrot batons (that's the preferred term) and cake. His mum had also brought a birthday cake she'd made herself which was pretty impressive. It was a frog sitting by a pond eating a butterfly. And when the cake was cut out fell some wiggly jelly worms. Boys' heaven. All went well and they adjourned outside with a bucket and some sticks and string to make some enormous bubbles. They can definitely come again.
Tomorrow morning we're opening early for a coach party from Weston Super Mare. They'd like coffee. For 44. They're coming in two shifts. 22 will have a talk in the church while 22 drink and eat, then they'll pass on the path and swap roles. And then they'll be on their way to the next point of interest. Full of scones.

A light snack

An elderly gentleman came in at the weekend.
He was on his own, and moved very slowly. And spoke very slowly.
"I'd like a cup of tea please," he said.
"And a piece of the fruit cake" he added.
I asked where he would like to sit?
"And a piece of Victoria Sponge," he said.
"And a piece of the Raspberry and Coconut Slice."
He waved to the table near the entrance and said he would sit there.
I delivered his three cakes.
He really wasn't at all interested in the tea.

Not the only fruit.

This may not be everyone's idea of exciting but my little orange tree (given to me March 2010 as an opening gift) has teenytiny little green oranges on it. Lots of them. And more flowers. Seems it loves the conservatory. All day I've been dragging any customers who show any interest at all to see it and marvel at it.
It had been suggested that these ornamental trees only fruit once (and it had lots of oranges on it when it arrived) so now I feel like Alan Titchmarsh.
Credit where credit is due - my Dad (who does have green fingers. And tennis elbow) looked after it during the Winter.

72 teas

Yesterday we were set to host a high tea for 34 visiting exchange students from China at 3.30. We laid out all the mismatched cups and saucers and tea plates and were awaiting their arrival so that we could cut all the crustless sandwiches when we became VERY busy in the main tea room. Two teas, two teacakes, four teas, afternoon tea for 2, scones, cake, two teas etc etc. It dawned on me that this was no ordinary tea time rush. It turned out to be coach party of 38 who hadn't mentioned they were coming. As the orders stacked up and the Chinese arrrived I NEARLY took my pinny off. I NEARLY cried. Instead I phoned Sara and said "help". She arrived within minutes. A friend indeed. My son arrived back from school and was also thrown into clearing tables, folding napkins and everything else. Two more heroes for my file.

Dairy-free and smoke-free

A coach party from Cheltenham came today. We knew they were coming but only had a rough idea of what they might like to eat, phoned in from the bus en route (which is better than not knowing anything at all). We like them enormously. They were pleasant, complimentary and they drank lots of tea and didn't ask for cappuccinos in the middle of the lunchtime rush.
The smokers were out in force in the garden today. Two middle aged couples ordered americanos (two decaf) and when I delivered them there were two packets of cigs on their table. I told them that we don't allow smoking. One woman had just lit up: "I'll put it out," she said, "but please let me just have a couple of drags."
They came back for lunch.
Claire answered my desperate late night text and brought me more gluten-free banana cake this lunchtime.
Two more dairy-free folks came today. Either word is spreading or the notice on the board is encouraging more people to ask for it. Who'd have thought?

...and Emotional.

I wasn't at the tea rooms this weekend.
On Saturday evening I went to see the final Take That concert at Wembley with 83,000 other women and 6 men. Two of whom were the Pet Shop Boys.
I spent Saturday night at my friend Jane's house, then Sunday morning chatting with her and lovely friends over the last ever copy of the News of the World and a latte.
Then I left.
I hadn't driven far when I discovered (cyclist banging on the window) that I had a flat tyre, so I limped to a garage and rang a friend for help. He said he'd get on his motorbike and would be with me in 15 mins.
I waited. Located the spare tyre. Located the jack. Located the silver thing to take the nuts off. Or something.
Then a young man from Essex called Slee (I even asked him to repeat it) strode over:
"The mrs has told me I've got to help," he announced. I thanked him, said I did have help coming but would be grateful if he could start the job as I didn't have a clue (which may have been obvious).
His "mrs", Kayleigh, joined me as we watched Slee work his magic. He'd changed another woman's tyre just two weeks' ago, he said.
Gosh, aren't we women useless, we thought.
Where is my friend? I wondered.
Slee was just finishing putting all the kit back under the thingy in the boot when the motorbike turned up.
Kayleigh gasped: "That's...."
"Adrian" I said, "yes".
Adrian Chiles took his bright yellow helmet off and didn't look too displeased that he didn't, after all, have to change my tyre. Kayleigh shook his hand and smiled. Slee, while waving a hello at him, told me to watch out for my back tyre as well, and then walked off.
Seconds later (and after what I imagine was a brief conversation in their car where the obvious was pointed out) Slee pulled up alongside us, handed through the window a pen and a used envelope to Adrian, said he couldn't believe he hadn't noticed who he was and asked for his autograph. Adrian wrote "To The Good Samaritan" and signed it. Slee jumped out of the car, handed me his 'phone with a smashed screen, and asked if I'd take their picture.
And so it was that two very tall men stood side by side in a car park, beaming.
I wish I had that photo. They were both my hero yesterday.
Thanks Slee, Thanks Ade.

Free Cake

Well.
Today must have been a record in the -free department. Gluten- and dairy- that is.
This morning a woman ordered a gluten-free banana cake. She wasn't coeliac, nor even intolerant. She had visited before with someone who had a piece and she thought it looked nice.
As she left she bumped into two friends and mentioned it to them. Neither of them had any medical need for a gluten-free cake either but BOTH ordered it, and then bought two extra pieces to take home. WHAT IS GOING ON?
Two people asked for dairy-free today too and went for the carrot, orange and sultana. The feedback on it is astonishingly good.
But don't tell those ladies masquerading as coeliacs.

Pale green

The weather didn't look good for today but we had a party of ten booked in for lunch so I knew it wouldn't be a wash-out.
As it turned out we were rather busier than I'd expected. We took the first lunch order (ham on granary, smoked salmon and cream cheese on granary, cheddar on granary) at 10.45. Then soup orders started at 1130.
What did for the planning though was the arrival of a small coach party (unannounced) AT THE SAME TIME as the expected party of ten. It was a heads-down-and-plough-on lunchtime. Sara warned those ordering lunch that there would be a delay, so when I arrived at their table bearing gifts on a tray I was greeted by gasps of joy - "that was much quicker than we thought". Thank goodness.
Today was also dairy-free day. Two people within half an hour of each other. Both very appreciative of the raspberry and dark chocolate muffins.
Here's a question which foxes us most days - should one serve milk with green tea?

Three for a Girl

This morning when I opened up there were THREE magpies in the conservatory. They're pretty big birds but they can only have come in through the skylights. Clearly bird brained. I opened the double doors. One slammed itself against one of the panes then hopped out (with a mis-shapen beak). The other two hid in the fig tree and had to be shepherded (can one shepherd a magpie?) towards the door.
This afternoon 17 students of Spanish and their Chilean teacher came for High Tea.
Next week we have 32 Chinese visitors.
Tea can bridge most any cultural divide.

A week to remember

I haven't written much recently so here's my week in a nutshell.
On Tuesday after school my 11 year old son and two school friends found a man's body in the local fishing pool.
On Thursday afternoon my 12 year old son (off school due to teachers' strike) put his hand through a pane of glass. The window came off worse.
So this weekend - Friday coach party, Saturday High Tea x 44 (Birmingham Bach Choir) + 6 x tables for Concert Suppers, Sunday post-wedding tea & cake for 60 - has been a welcome relief from what-will-my-children-shock-me-with-next?
Big tea rooms news.
We now serve dairy-free cake.
Raspberry and dark chocolate muffins.
And from next week the gluten-free orange and carrot will also be dairy-free.
Hah.