I went in early this morning to set up because my Australian friend, Kendall, whom I haven’t seen since we were teenagers, was coming to visit. I wanted to be able to have as long as possible to catch up with her before the lunchtime rush. Lauren said she’d hold the fort behind the counter and would come and get me if she needed to.
Kendall, her friend Siobhan and I sat in the conservatory drinking coffee and talking about odd names for children.
Lauren came to my table at about 11o’clock.
Bearing news.
The environmental health officer had arrived to do an inspection.
(Deep. Breath.)
I answered his questions, showed him what he asked to see, wondered what he was thinking, worried I’d missed something.
He went to sit down to complete his report.
Then he called me over.
We went through his comments.
Then he said it was lucky for me that it was after midday.
I didn’t understand and my heart was beating so loudly I could barely hear him anyway.
He said that if it had been before midday he would have told me I had a zero rating.
I still didn’t understand.
“And then I would have said, ‘April Fool’,” he said.
He gave us the top rating but my nerves were shredded.
Next year I may decide not to open on 1st April.